How are you doing?

You know, that is a question we ask and get asked often many times a day. Are you one to ask it, and then not listen to the answer, or do you really care how the other person is doing. Or are you asked it and you answer with the standard “Good, thanks” or do you go into all your troubles or positives? I was on a job today and I lady came through the office to emptying all the smaller trashcans into her larger one on wheels. One older lady asked her how she was doing and her reply was not good. Seemed she was upset because her daughter had stolen money from her. $40.00. She said it was all the money she had to buy food with. She said all of this with a “woah is me” tone to her voice. The other woman who had asked made some small talk about the subject and the lady emptying the trash moved on to the next office. It really got me to thinking as to if someone really cares “How we are doing” Don’t ask if you don’t want to know. LOL But, after the lady had gone, the older lady turned to me and said “It’s always something with her!” She told me that the lady was always in a bind and the office had taken up collections for her in the past. I don’t think I would be asking her how she was doing anymore. What could you say instead of “How are you doing”? Unless you are genuinely interested in the answer. It just seems like standard chit chat that we say because we have to, it’s an ice breaker to get us to the guts of the conversation. Try telling someone you are lousy the next time the ask, I wonder if they will want to know more and offer a solution?